• INJECTION Magazine

Sexual Assault Story: When He Pushed Me To A Wall And Started To Unwrap Me Like A Present

"Share Your Story" submitted by Anonymous, 23 years old

I was eighteen years old and it was a hot and sunny day.

All I wanted was to relax and have a good time so I went to the beach with my friend Alex.

As soon as we sat down, we noticed the people next to us being a little nosey and kind of out of it. We didn’t really mind at first and were just enjoying the sunshine. 

Since i know a few words in Russian, I recognised their language pretty fast and managed to catch up on some things they were talking about.

What the guys were talking about was kind of off and made me laugh a little. Of course, they noticed and started talking to us.

Mistake number one.

I was being curious and respectful and responded to them.

The conversation started and after a few minutes they offered us a lil bit of their drink. We thought „why not“ and after some more conversation and laughs, one of the guys asked me for a kiss on the cheek, like french people do for saying hello and goodbye.

I didn’t want to but, as embarrassing as it is to admit, I was afraid of him.

He was the one of his group who was the most introverted, so i told him I’d give him one kiss on the cheek and that's it. I did this with respect of the french culture because I was living there at the time.

After I did it he (obviously) asked for one more. I figured he’s planning on turning his head so I’d kiss him on his mouth. Boyyyy no. Not dumb enough for that. 

I told my friend, Alex that I wanted to leave and put my shoes back on.

Right when i was about to get up, the guy put his arm around me and said something in Russian which I couldn’t understand.

The next moment he grabbed my shoulder, pushed me on the floor and pressed my arm down to try to kiss me.

Thankfully I was fast enough to manage to put my hand on my mouth to cover my lips but, as you can imagine, this 2m tall Russian guy was a lot stronger than me.

With one move, he pulled away my only protection, my hand and kissed me very harshly. 

I was fighting him with all my force, but it didn’t help.

He pressed his body on me. It made me feel miserable and helpless as I was stamping with my feet on the ground like crazy to get him off.

Nothing changed. Next, he pushed me to a wall and started unwrapping me like a present, his own present.

Finally, his friend pushed him away.

I felt so embarrassed and shocked and I just wanted to leave this place full of people that saw this little play and didn’t move a finger to help me.

I grabbed my bag and ran away. Alex followed me.

As soon as the beach and those guys were out of sight, I broke down.

I sat on the ground and cried.

I felt horrible, it disgusted me!

We went back to my friend Alex’s place.

He tried to hold me. I guess, he was thinking that getting my affection or even having sex with him was an option. How can men be so dumb?

Could you care so less about my feelings?

I mean.. Wasn’t it obvious how i was feeling?

After 10 minutes of sitting there quietly, I decided to leave.

I was still shaking and my heart was filled with fear and embarrassment.

Why did no one help me?

All these people at the beach. It was packed. Were they thinking I was having fun?

I believe, one can clearly see, if someone is enjoying kissing or being held like a f*cking hostage.

What happened to our society? When did we get to this point of not caring for others?Ii will never understand.

During dinner, my host mum felt that something was wrong.

Since she has nearly been raped several times before, I told her about the incident. 

She was shocked that something like this happened in the city she lives in.

Her son, en contraire, asked me why I didn't call the police. It could’ve been solved if I would've called the police, he said.

Is this a man-thing? A thing, where men can’t understand us women because we’re so complicated?

I guess it is, since they never get into situations like this.

When something like that happens, at first, you are shocked, you feel embarrassed, you are scared. You just want to forget this horrible experience because you wish it never happened.

Calling the police is not the priority number one at that point.

You wanna go to a safe place, be alone and get rid of all the thoughts and emotions from that attack. 

You want to die out of embarrassment and the feeling of mistreat.

I’ll never tell my mother.

I’ll never want her to know.

Not another thing to make her suffocate.

Not again, because of me.